


Drown

by Mistress_Kalamity



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Drama, Emotional, Epilepsy, LGBTQ, M/M, Other, Tokio Hotel doesn’t exist, stroke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_Kalamity/pseuds/Mistress_Kalamity
Summary: Jorg Kaulitz has two sons. Twins. Thomas Jorg Kaulitz the oldest and William Jorg Kaulitz, the youngest.When the twins face health trouble, the family finds itself in deep waters, but Bill and Tom refuse to let each other drown.
Relationships: Bill Kaulitz/Andreas Guhne, Tom Kaulitz/Georg Listing
Kudos: 1





	1. [1]

_Simone lies back, sweat running down her neck. She knew childbirth would be hard and giving birth to twins is no easy feat. But they came, pink and screaming into the world. Her hair sticks to her face and she looks over at her matching set of boys. Her boys._

Months turn to years and the boys are hitting all milestones of a pair of happy 3 year old boys. Simone could hear their happy footfalls as they chased after each other with the foam swords their father had gotten them for their birthday. “Take that bubba! I got you!” Bill squeaks, poking his twin brother’s side with the sword. 

“Nooooo! I got you first!” Tom argues, swiping his brother’s leg. “And I’m bigger so that means I win.” 

“Noooo! Mama, Tommy isn’t playing fair.”

“Tommy, play fair!” Simone calls from the kitchen. Tom looks at his little brother with a pout but doesn’t say anything else about Bill telling on him. 

“I don’t wanna play anymore,” Tom frowns. 

“Okay, we can play with the trains,” Bill suggests. “I can ask papa to get them.”

“Noooo! If we ask, we have to put them back.”

“We can’t put them back, bubba. Mama and papa put it too high for us.”

The three year old groans slightly, he didn’t understand why Bill didn’t listen to him. He’s the big brother and he knows what happens when they ask to play with the trains. “I said no! I don’t wanna put them back! No tra—.” Tom’s face grows vacant, his eyes flutter as he stares at an unspecified point beyond his brother’s head. His tiny jaw works like he’s chewing a piece of gum that is stuck between his teeth. His tiny fingers come up to his mouth as he gently rests his teeth on his bottom lip. 

A sigh escapes his lips and he looks back at his brother. Not noticing the lost time or the change in his brother’s expression. “No trains.”

“Okay. Wanna color?”

Tom nods and follows his twin to go find their coloring books and something to scribble on the pages. As they color, Bill notices that Tom does that “blinky eye thing” at least 7 more times in the next twenty minutes. Their mother calls them for dinner and their father collects them for the meal. “Okay boys, now I know you heard your mama calling for you to scurry your little butts to the kitchen.”

“I wanna color!” Bill squeals. “I don’t wanna eat.” Jorg chuckles and scoops Bill into his arms. 

“Well it’s time to eat. Let’s go wash those hands. Tom, come on.”

The older twin sat perfectly still on the ground, not moving and gaze fixed on nothing. His eyes flutter and soon he’s looking at his concerned father. “Papa?”

“Hey, kiddo. You okay?”

“Yeah, mama made food?”

“She did. Let’s go wash our hands. Come on,” Jorg takes Tom’s hand and walks both twins to the bathroom to clear the marker off them. Dinner goes along without a hitch, well what could be considered without a hitch. Only Jorg notices Tom checks out several times during the meal. But it merely looks like daydreaming. He’s only daydreaming. The twins help their mom clean up dinner and Jörg is left in charge of getting them washed up and dressed for bed. 

Of course by the end of it, three people have been bathed and one didn’t intentionally expect to be covered in watery suds. Finally getting the boys in warm pajamas, Jorg reads them a story and waits for them to fall asleep. Bill and Tom are entwined in each other, Bill’s head and leg resting on Tom while the latter has his other arm wrapped around his twin and lay flat on his back. It’s Tom’s tiny left hand that Jorg notices before he steps out of the room. 

His fist opens and closes, twitching ever so slightly. People twitch when they fall asleep. Closing the door, Jorg stares at the stickers and smiles. His boys are just active children even in sleep. 

The twins wake up their parents the next morning and they’re the tornado mess that turns pancake breakfast into pancake breakfast and morning clean up. Tom is picking up eggshells when his left arm flings the shells out and at his twin. “Ow! Tommy put the eggs on me!”

“I didn’t mean it!” Tom shouts back. He rolls his shoulder before his tiny arm starts jerking against his torso. His elbow catches his rib cage and makes his body pull down on the left. 

“Whoa. Whoa. Kiddo, come here. Sit down.” Jorg picks the boy up and puts him on the table. He puts a hand under Tom’s elbow, preventing him from hitting it on the wooden surface. 

“Papa...I’m scared,” Tom whimpers, teeth clenching when the spasm reaches his neck. 

“I know. Uhh, Simone, call the paramedics. It’s getting worse.” 

His tiny form falls into his father, eyes staring at nothing at his left and face jerking as if he is being repeatedly startled. Jorg scoops the boy into his arms, hoping he could help him relax. His head rests on his father’s chest, and his tiny arm brushed against as it convulsed on his own rhythm. 

“Bubba? Papa, what’s wrong with Bubba?”

“I don’t know. But he’s not feeling too good right now.” 

As he says this, Tom’s body stiffens in his grasp, forcing Jorg to clear off a space on the table and put the boy down. His eyes seem to search the left side of his skull before he lets out a strangled croaking noise. Jorg to this day still can’t describe the sound. His eyes can’t look away as his son convulses rigidly on the table. His arms seem to hold something on his torso while simultaneously letting it go and his legs knock together at the knee. 

“Tell them to hurry! He’s having a seizure,” Jorg calls back. He didn’t think that as a nurse he’d have to see his own suffer this way. And partially, he wishes he acted on his instinct earlier. Something was off about Tom. Something has always been off about Tom. 

He thinks about all the times Tom’s checked out even when he was younger. He thought maybe he just had Childhood Absence Epilepsy. A diagnosis wasn’t needed in his eyes and he’d most likely grow out of it. Jorg always kept an eye on him. Every spell, and once Tom was old enough to talk back to him, he started asking if his boy was okay. 

He could’ve gotten him checked, checked before Tom got worse. The paramedics arrive and take the tiny child into the back of their truck. Tom’s seizure stopped at 3 and half minutes, his breathing didn’t return. The Kaulitz family sits patiently in the waiting room, on edge about whether or not Tom survived his morning ordeal. The doctoral staff managed to stabilize him, leaving the intern to inform the family. 

“Kaulitz?” Jorg is up first, hoisting Bill onto his hip. Simone holds her husband’s arm and shields her crying. 

“How is he? Can we see him? What’s going on?” 

“Your son is fine. We brought his O2 levels back up and managed to prevent any further seizures. We’re moving him up to the pediatric neurology floor to run tests. Currently we’re keeping him on a regiment of diazepam to keep the convulsions at bay. Once we have him situated, we’ll bring you guys up.”

“Thank you,” Jorg smiles slightly. “We’ll wait here until we can see him.”

Bill had fallen asleep waiting, their nap time was approaching, so it made sense he’d be so sleepy. Simone takes the boy from her husband and holds him close. She had to know at least one of her boys was okay, she had to hold him in her arms and feel his warm body in her embrace. What could be happening to her beautiful boys? 

****


	2. [2]

Tom’s eyes fluttered in his sleep, dreaming of worlds that none could see from the outside. Bill had taken up the space between his twin and the safety bars of the hospital bed. Simone held in her tears and let out a chuckle instead upon seeing her boys still wrap themselves up in each other despite the setting. 

She turned to Jorg, her husband busying himself with reading over Tom’s chart and trying to make sense of the notes. 

“Well Simmy, his vitals are good and they’re giving him a steady, prolonged release of AEDs,” Jorg sighed. “He should be stable while they run their tests.”

“Jorg, I need to know, what do they think is wrong with him?”

“Prognosis? They wanna say it was Febrile because his temp was elevated,” the male nurse sighed. “I should’ve taken him in sooner.”

Simone looked at her husband and couldn't stop the flow of tears that rolled down her cheeks. Jorg knew something was off, he knew and against his better judgement he ignored it. Had Tom always been having these episodes in his sleep? Without the EEG, how could he have known? And how long has this been happening? He holds his wife in his arms, hoping to muffle her sobs and allow the boys to sleep but they both wake up, rubbing their eyes and staring at their distraught parents. 

“Mama? Papa why is mama crying?” They said in unison. 

“Because she was worried about Thomas, but she’s happy you’re okay now, buddy.”

“Mama, don’t cry,” Tom smiled. 

“Yeah, bubba is all better now.”

“I know. I know,” Simone chuckled sadly. “Mommies just worry sometimes because they love their babies so much and it makes them sad when their babies get sick or hurt.” 

Tom wanted to say something back but his gaze was soon affixed to the empty nothingness of the room. His stare was vacant and his eyelids fluttered as he chewed some nonexistent particle in his mouth. Jorg sits down beside him and puts an arm around his son’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay, kiddo.”

Tom sighed, his big eyes staring up at his father who magically appeared next to him when he remembered he was standing before him earlier. He nuzzled into him and sighed again, this time falling back asleep on his chest with his tiny arms draped on his waist. 

“Papa, why does bubba do that?” Bill asked, being swiftly picked up by his mother. 

“Because bubba is sick. But don’t worry, the nice doctors are gonna make him all better again.”

The door opened and both parents looked up at the on call pediatric neurologist. She was wearing colorful scrubs and had animals pinned to her white coat. Her name Dr. Miranda Montgomery was embroidered above her coat pocket. She wore a large grin and had animal toppers on the pens in her chest pocket. “Hi, nice to meet you I’m Dr. Montgomery. I was assigned to your son’s case. How are we doing this afternoon?”

“Not great. My son had a seizure. They pumped him full of medication and then just stuck him in this room while they watched his brain go nuts. I want some answers,” Simone frowned, holding Billy even closer to her chest. 

“And we shall get those for you,” the doctor smiled yet again. She picked up Tom’s chart and gave it a quick look over before turning to face the family again. “So he’s three years old?”

“Yes. The twins will be four next month.”

“Very exciting. Okay, well judging by the EEG recordings and the bystander record of what happened, I am changing the prognosis. Your son may have a seizure disorder but in order to properly diagnose it, we have to run a spinal tap, MRI, CT, get some more blood, run a toxicology and find out if he has any triggers.”

Simone didn’t follow any of that and looked to her husband to see if he caught the gist and could explain it to her. Jorg simply nodded and shook the woman’s hand before watching her leave to set up the examinations. 

The MRI confirmed their fears, the EEG came back positive and soon the parents were sitting in a neurologists office each holding a sleeping twin. “Well it’s been a hectic few hours but before we get started on discussing our medical plan, I wanted to check in with mom and dad.”

“We’re tired and stressed and wanna take our baby home,” Simone groaned. 

“Well then I guess we should get started then. The EEG Test confirmed that your son was indeed having seizures. Since coming into our care he’s had a total of 26 seizure events, most of those being absence or petit mal seizures. I wanted to ask a few questions, has your son ever just zoned out? Like stare off into space as if he were daydreaming?”

“A few times I’ve noticed. Since he was 1,” Jorg answered. “I assumed he might’ve had Childhood Absence Epilepsy but I didn’t wanna be wrong or overthinking it. Besides, he was 1.”

“I see. What about you mom? Anything?”

“Yeah, um, he usually sings along with his brother in the car but lately I’ve noticed he’ll stop to chew and stare at nothing. I thought he was daydreaming. Are you telling me my baby has been having seizures this whole time?”

“Well, judging by these test results I’m afraid so. The MRI shows that he has an abnormal cerebral make up meaning Tom probably did start out with CAE but it’s developed.”

“Developed? What do you mean developed? He’s under the proper age for CAE and you can’t possibly mean he has something worse,” Jorg counters. 

“Dad, I’m afraid your son has Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. Or Janz Syndrome,” Dr. Montgomery frowned. “We will be working together to find a medication that works for him but as it stands right now, his seizures are not under control.” Simone holds Tom closer, silently apologizing to him for not being able to bring him into this world healthy and safe. 

“So what are our next steps?” Jorg asked, seeing his wife crippled by her child’s diagnosis. He had to be the strong one. He had to protect his family and what little sanity they had left. “Are you discharging him with a prescription or are you keeping him until we find a stable regimen?”

“I think the child would benefit from being at home. I’m going to prescribe medication that we know to work usually with JME patients. Tom is young so we’ll be mindful of that. I wouldn’t want to drastically change the boy in an attempt to help him get to remission.”

“So I can take him home? Billy gets so lonely without his bubba,” Simone frowned, looking over at Tom’s sleeping twin. “I just think stress might make him worse and being away from Bill stresses Tommy out.”

“You are correct. Stress and sleep deprivation can cause an increase in seizures. Poor diet can contribute to seizures and missing medication is a huge trigger for epileptic attacks. Being that Tom is so young, you’re going to have to find ways to make him comfortable with the idea of taking it.”

“What about Billy? Should we test him as well?” Jorg questioned, pulling the three old further into his lap and arms. 

“They are identical twins but Billy hasn’t shown any signs of having a seizure disorder,” Simone noted. “He seems normal but we thought Tommy was okay and now…” She stopped, looking down at her baby boys all nuzzled into a parent and snoring ever so slightly. 

“Mr. And Mrs. Kaulitz, I know this must be difficult and such a diagnosis means your lives are changing. But I’m sure we can get Tom control over his seizures so he can live as normal a life as possible. That’s my goal.”

It started with clonazepam and valproic acid. Tom only had one tonic clonic seizure in his young life and his parents intended to keep it that way. The medication worked and all Jorg saw was an increase in the absence seizures but a decrease in the myoclonic seizures and he hasn’t had anymore of the tonic clonic ones. But he also noticed that Tom was sleeping a lot more. He’d find his son knocked out on the couch or mid chew at meal times. 

At dinner, he placed his head next to his bowl of Mac and cheese and closed his eyes. Soon he slept, holding his spoon in his tiny fist and using the placemat as a pillow. Billy couldn’t say it, his vocabulary wasn’t there but he was indeed worried. Something was off about his bubba. He didn’t wanna play anymore and he always cried and wanted to sleep on their mother’s lap. 

His mother would look over at her tired baby boy and frown. “I’ll put his portion in the refrigerator and put him to bed.”

“Jorg, we have to call that neurologist in the morning. It’s been almost two weeks and Tom hasn’t been the same since we brought him home.”

“I know, Simmy. For now, let’s try and make his life a little easier,” Jorg sighed, picking the sleeping boy up. He pops his head up on his dad’s shoulder and starts to whine. 

“I want Dino mac!”

“I know, son but you’re sleeping at the table. Mama and I think you need to go to bed early.”

“But I want Dino mac!” Tom shouted back. 

“I know. I know. How about this? You can have Dino Mac for breakfast and lunch tomorrow,” Jorg bargained as he brings the child up to his room but he soon realizes that Tom hasn't heard him. The older twin blinks furiously, mouth working on the invisible object within. By the time Tom comes to, he’s lying in bed with the covers pulled up. 

“Ready for bed?”

“Dino Mac?”

“Maybe later buddy. Okay?” Tom nodded sadly but still drifted off, not questioning how he got in bed in the first place. Soon his twin was barreling into the room and leaping into Tom’s bed. They had their own beds but Billy preferred Tom’s. Even when they fell asleep separately, they always woke up together.


End file.
